For Sale

The One Man Crank

The One Man Crank


Bids for this One Man Crank can be sent to  An original invention and the brainchild of Boy two, this masterpiece underwent multiple adjustments and overhauls before completion. It is now in fine working order with all the kinks worked out.  Here’s a close up of the driver’s seat:

That would be dirt in the open trunk, helping the baling twine to keep the shaft in place.

Organic quality dirt in the open trunk helps shaft remain in place. (Keep wet.)  Orange fluffy stuff on handlebars is akin to a giant pipecleaner, providing both decorative color and structural reinforcement.


I’m sure his teachers would have stamped genius on his report card if they could have ever figured out what was going in his head. I empathize. This is the child who punched his fist through a glass window in short sleeves when he was eight. It was, he explained (as we waited in the emergency room for ten stitches across two inches), the only way to tag the girls because they were cheating hiding in the bus shelter and they wouldn’t unlock the door.

Here is why you should open the bidding for the One Man Crank now, and bid high. Tricycles are fun, for a while. The One Man Crank is fun for as long as you can fit on the broom, because that is where the driver’s bottom is intended to go. It’s nothing special until you start peddling. As you pedal, the baling twine apparatus works together with the weighted snow shovel in the back to pop you in the bottom at intervals, thereby changing a smooth potentially dull trike ride, into a bottom bumping mania of happiness.

The One Man Crank shown here is the original model and will obviously sell for the most money, however, I am completely prepared to take Boy two out of school in order to manufacture other models as demand requires. This was not an idea that I saw the vision for at first, but after Boy two brought in his testers and had them testify, I was convinced. Girl one and Girl two both swear it is an amazing invention. Even describing how fun it is makes them giggle. Do they think other kids would like it? Definitely, yes. It’s great! And it works, they add.

I’m not sure if Boy two will use the money for something clever or save it for a rainy day. His savings plans have run amok of late, so I am guessing he will spend it. I found him dreary, walking in from the old chicken coop the other day.  What’s wrong, I asked. The squirrels got it, he said. I tried to hide the rest of my Easter candy from you so you wouldn’t throw it away and the squirrels ate it all.

Good on ya, son. Have to say, I wouldn’t have checked the chicken coop.

Bidding for original closes at midnight. Orders for other models open indefinitely.